Library of Guides | Wedding Planning

Planning your ceremony means you’re getting close to the wedding day — Congratulations!!  

The ceremony has a sneaky amount of decisions and logistics! Couples are understandably focused on the reception, the photos, the entertainment, and when they sit down to plan the ceremony realize how layered and full of selections it can be! That’s why I’ve created this guide.  With these steps you’ll be well on your way to a beautiful, meaningful celebration of your union. 

Step 0: Select your officiant

I’ve made this step zero, because chances are good that asking a special person or a clergy member was one of the decisions made early on. Already done! 

Step 1: Choose the VIPs to be a part of your ceremony

Often times ceremony participants are individuals who are very special but for various reasons are not a member of your bridal party. You would really like to include them in your special day and the best way to do that can be a special “job” or role.  It’s a way of communicating: “Hey, you are important to me and I want you to be a part of my day in a meaningful way.” For instance, a cousin you’re close to, or a brother who’s not a groomsman.  

The roles can include:

·      Readers

·      Ushers

·      Giftbearers (if applicable) 

·      Musicians

·      Singers

·      Welcoming people to ceremony

·      Passing out programs

·      Pinning boutonnieres

Step 2: Select readings 

(whether from the bible, a poem, literature, or specially written for the day)

It is super easy to over-think this one – but I’m here to give you permission to keep it simple.  The best place to start is take time to sit with your list of choices.  Do a first run-through separately, then peruse together.  Do give it time and let the words soak in. Notice which readings resonate with you.  Sometimes a reading will be ‘nice’ but the words might not connect with you.  That’s okay! Go on to the next one.  This is why I recommend reading separately:  if you’ve both flagged the same reading, then you know which ones hold special meaning to both of you. 

Some common readings: 

1. Male and female he created them (Genesis 1:26-28, 31a)

2. The two of them become one body (Genesis 2:18-24)

3. May the Lord of heaven prosper you both. May he grant you mercy and peace (Tobit 7:6-14)

4. Allow us to live together to a happy old age (Tobit 8:4b-8)

5. The woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (Proverbs 31:10-13, 19-20, 30-31)

6. Like the sun rising in the Lord’s heavens, the beauty of a virtuous wife is the radiance of her home (Sirach 26:1-4, 13-16)

7. I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah (Jeremiah 31:31-32a, 33-34a) 

Step 3: Think about processional and recessional song choices. 

The spotify playlist below includes song choices often included in ceremonies I’ve seen.  But also, acoustic versions of contemporary songs abound (and easily adaptable to string instruments).  I do recommend choosing songs whose words don’t readily come to mind! A recent couple chose the acoustic version of “Despacito” and many of the guests and bridesmaids I caught mouthing the words! That can be super fun to include a song like that but also distracting.  

The processional song choices are used for seating of family and bridal party. 

I recommend choosing one song to be played for all family and bridal party to process in.  You, the bride, will of course enter to your own song.   It allows for a smooth start to your ceremony and easiest to cue the musicians.  I find it can be even more beautiful and actually more dramatic to just have the two selections. 

 The recessional song choice is typically more upbeat to accompany family and guests as they exit (and you, the newest married couple!)

Step 4: Choose the order of entrances.

There are no rules here because everyone does things differently! The standard order:

·      Officiant

·      Seating of grandmothers

·      Seating of mothers (or sometimes families all together)

·      Groomsmen and Groom

         (Often from side, sometimes down the aisle)

         (Sometimes Groom will process with his parents)

·      Bridesmaids

·      Flower girl + ring bearer, if applicable

·      Bride and her Dad (or Bride and her parents)

Step 5: Select song choices during the ceremony (if applies to you)

Instrumental: 

For religious ceremonies

Once again, this is just a start: 

Step 6: Select the order of events within the ceremony

If your ceremony is a non-denominational ceremony these are some common elements:

·      Welcome

·      Reading(s)

·      Officiant remarks

·      Declaration of Intent

·      Vow Exchange

·      Declaration of support from congregation

·      Ring exchange

·      Closing Remarks

Step 7: Optional: Honoring family members that are deceased or could not be present

There are a variety of ways to include and honor special members or guests:

·      A special section in the program

·      Photo display for guests to see as they enter

·      A special chair draped for that family member

Step 8: Create a program, if desired

The program will include all VIPs, family members, readings, and special segments